1
00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:27,603
I do.

2
00:00:27,627 --> 00:00:29,539
I now pronounce you
man and wife.

3
00:00:29,563 --> 00:00:31,874
Congratulations.
And now if you'll excuse me,

4
00:00:31,898 --> 00:00:34,577
I have to hurry to testify
at a divorce. Goodbye.

5
00:00:34,601 --> 00:00:37,213
Bye.

6
00:00:37,237 --> 00:00:39,416
We'll never forget you, boy.
If it wasn't for you,

7
00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:41,251
we'd have never married
your sisters.

8
00:00:41,275 --> 00:00:44,287
So I'm a cupid. Anyway, better
you should support them than I.

9
00:00:45,412 --> 00:00:48,080
Well, now for our nuptial kiss.

10
00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:55,031
What's the idea?

11
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:56,366
That's just to show you

12
00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:58,334
who's gonna be boss around here.

13
00:00:58,358 --> 00:01:00,403
Now what the...
Wait a minute.

14
00:01:00,427 --> 00:01:02,505
Now get out in the kitchen
and roast the turkey.

15
00:01:02,529 --> 00:01:04,474
Yes, and make some
hot muffins and coffee.

16
00:01:04,498 --> 00:01:06,443
Wait a minute!
We don't know how to cook.

17
00:01:06,467 --> 00:01:07,777
It's time you learn.

18
00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:09,079
That's what husbands are for.

19
00:01:09,103 --> 00:01:11,114
Now get going!

20
00:01:11,138 --> 00:01:13,338
Wait a minute, wait a minute,
wait a minute! Oh!

21
00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:18,321
But, girls, I didn't...

22
00:01:18,345 --> 00:01:20,557
Shut up!

23
00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:22,525
Well, go on, pick
the feathers off that turkey

24
00:01:22,549 --> 00:01:25,069
while I study how to cook it.

25
00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:27,830
Oh!

26
00:01:27,854 --> 00:01:28,965
Why you...

27
00:01:28,989 --> 00:01:29,966
Wait a minute, Moe.

28
00:01:29,990 --> 00:01:31,201
Ow!

29
00:01:31,225 --> 00:01:33,236
Do I look like Davy Crockett?

30
00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:35,860
Ah, come on.
Peel that turkey.

31
00:01:37,697 --> 00:01:38,963
Ooh!

32
00:01:40,066 --> 00:01:41,511
There must be an easier way

33
00:01:41,535 --> 00:01:43,713
to get the feathers
off that turkey.

34
00:01:43,737 --> 00:01:46,682
I got an idea, wait here.

35
00:01:54,181 --> 00:01:56,714
Once over lightly.
Right, sir.

36
00:02:01,054 --> 00:02:02,732
Hey.

37
00:02:02,756 --> 00:02:04,501
I better get busy
with this turkey.

38
00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:06,936
Gee, fellas, I didn't know
my sisters are so mean.

39
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,404
To prove it, I'll help you.

40
00:02:08,428 --> 00:02:11,073
Yeah? Well get over there and
make some muffins and coffee.

41
00:02:11,097 --> 00:02:12,708
Go ahead.
All right.

42
00:02:12,732 --> 00:02:14,177
I'll get back to business here.

43
00:02:14,201 --> 00:02:16,279
Uh-oh.
Poor turkey, I cut it.

44
00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:18,047
Wait a minute
I'll get a styptic pencil.

45
00:02:18,071 --> 00:02:19,771
Watch your step-tic.

46
00:02:31,785 --> 00:02:34,686
Let's see, now.
Muffins, muffins, muffins.

47
00:02:36,190 --> 00:02:37,955
"Three spoons
of flour."

48
00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:40,537
One,

49
00:02:40,561 --> 00:02:41,804
two,

50
00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:43,373
three.

51
00:02:43,397 --> 00:02:45,096
Uh, "add one egg.

52
00:02:48,235 --> 00:02:50,468
"Now add some milk.

53
00:02:53,073 --> 00:02:54,817
Now, a pinch of
baking powder."

54
00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:57,520
No, spoon of baking powder.

55
00:02:57,544 --> 00:03:00,245
Oh, I'll make it rich.

56
00:03:01,815 --> 00:03:03,815
"Now mix well."

57
00:03:07,954 --> 00:03:09,899
Please, make like this.

58
00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:11,223
Thank you.

59
00:03:12,292 --> 00:03:14,237
There we are.

60
00:03:14,261 --> 00:03:15,705
Got the aftershave lotion?

61
00:03:15,729 --> 00:03:17,495
Right-o.

62
00:03:20,967 --> 00:03:22,701
Ah.
Powder.

63
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:01,239
See you later, fellas.

64
00:04:02,842 --> 00:04:04,487
See, in order to brown a turkey,

65
00:04:04,511 --> 00:04:06,222
you paint it with salad oil.

66
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,090
Salad oil, let's see.

67
00:04:08,114 --> 00:04:09,714
Maybe it's in here.

68
00:04:11,518 --> 00:04:12,651
No.

69
00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:16,065
Salad oil.

70
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:17,656
Well.

71
00:04:19,159 --> 00:04:20,136
There we are.

72
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,538
Rub him down, kid.

73
00:04:22,562 --> 00:04:24,228
There we are.

74
00:04:25,965 --> 00:04:26,942
Okay.

75
00:04:26,966 --> 00:04:28,278
There we are, let's go.

76
00:04:28,302 --> 00:04:29,579
Open up the stove, boy.

77
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:31,748
Open that door.

78
00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:32,749
It's already lit.

79
00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:34,306
Now we'll roast it.

80
00:04:37,243 --> 00:04:39,155
That bird will be
out of this world.

81
00:04:39,179 --> 00:04:41,659
Yeah, it's too good for
those elephants we married.

82
00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:45,850
Hey, it's on fire.
Do something.

83
00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:50,588
Step aside.

84
00:04:57,731 --> 00:04:59,431
Good work, kid.

85
00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:02,011
Ah, delicious turkey.

86
00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:03,579
Nice, hot muffins.

87
00:05:03,603 --> 00:05:05,963
And I made them myself.

88
00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:31,808
Oh, that's that cheap
modern furniture.

89
00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,758
Soap.

90
00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:02,372
Trying to poison us, eh?

91
00:06:02,396 --> 00:06:05,241
You, you no good...
Wait a second. It wasn't...

92
00:06:05,265 --> 00:06:08,433
Poison us, will you?

93
00:06:10,570 --> 00:06:11,570
Whoa!

94
00:06:15,675 --> 00:06:17,052
Look, girls, I can explain...

95
00:06:17,076 --> 00:06:18,153
You too!
What do you...?

96
00:06:18,177 --> 00:06:19,756
Marry us to those no goods.

97
00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:20,823
What do you want from me?

98
00:06:20,847 --> 00:06:22,580
Get out of our house!

99
00:06:25,184 --> 00:06:27,363
Oh, boy, if that's married life,

100
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,532
I don't want any part of it.
I'll never get married.

101
00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:31,567
But you hooked us, you rat.

102
00:06:31,591 --> 00:06:33,202
And we'll get even with you.

103
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:35,772
Hey, wait a minute, Shemp.
We gotta give a music lesson.

104
00:06:35,796 --> 00:06:36,861
Oh, yeah.

105
00:07:18,338 --> 00:07:20,516
Stop!

106
00:07:20,540 --> 00:07:22,585
That's enough, that's enough.

107
00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:23,886
We've done enough for today.

108
00:07:23,910 --> 00:07:25,488
You might hurt your voice.
You know,

109
00:07:25,512 --> 00:07:27,357
bend it, crack it or break it
or something.

110
00:07:27,381 --> 00:07:29,592
Oh, professor,
you're so considerate.

111
00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:32,862
Ha-ha-ha!
I'm just crazy about you.

112
00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:35,231
Don't forget we've got
another lesson Tuesday.

113
00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:36,765
Gargle with old razor blades.

114
00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:39,202
All right, professor. I know
you wouldn't want anything

115
00:07:39,226 --> 00:07:40,758
to happen to my throat.

116
00:07:41,828 --> 00:07:43,373
Except to have somebody cut it.

117
00:07:43,397 --> 00:07:45,741
How would you like to be
married to a dame like that?

118
00:07:45,765 --> 00:07:47,176
Don't even say that.

119
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:48,844
Oh! I ought to...

120
00:07:48,868 --> 00:07:50,046
You ought to what?

121
00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:51,647
I ought to be
a little more careful.

122
00:07:51,671 --> 00:07:53,916
Shut up and listen. Do you
remember your Uncle Caleb?

123
00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:55,584
Do I?
Why, that old tightwad.

124
00:07:55,608 --> 00:07:57,186
He'd steal flies
from a blind spider.

125
00:07:57,210 --> 00:07:59,322
But Shemp he's a...
He's a louse and a weasel.

126
00:07:59,346 --> 00:08:01,557
Yeah? Well, he just died
and left you 500,000 bucks.

127
00:08:01,581 --> 00:08:03,126
Just like that old skinflint.

128
00:08:04,351 --> 00:08:05,828
Five hundred thousand bucks?

129
00:08:05,852 --> 00:08:08,231
But there's one little catch.

130
00:08:08,255 --> 00:08:10,599
You get the dough,
provided you're married.

131
00:08:10,623 --> 00:08:12,668
So wh... Ah! Married? No.

132
00:08:12,692 --> 00:08:14,837
No, fellas.
I'm gonna faint.

133
00:08:16,896 --> 00:08:18,807
Or...
Or what?

134
00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:20,576
If you get married
within 48 hours

135
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:22,611
of the reading of the will.
What time was that?

136
00:08:22,635 --> 00:08:24,113
Six o'clock the night
before last.

137
00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:26,215
You just got seven hours
to get yourself a bride.

138
00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:28,484
It can't be done,
no woman is interested in me.

139
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,953
Maybe not, pal.
But if you look real hard

140
00:08:30,977 --> 00:08:33,256
you might find one interested
in half a million bucks!

141
00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:35,491
Maybe you got something.
Darn right.

142
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,393
Know any girls?
I got a lot of numbers

143
00:08:37,417 --> 00:08:38,761
but I haven't had much luck.

144
00:08:38,785 --> 00:08:40,996
You can't get killed for trying.
Where's the phone?

145
00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:42,432
There's a booth down the hall.

146
00:08:42,456 --> 00:08:43,899
Well, what are we waiting for?

147
00:08:43,923 --> 00:08:44,900
Down the hall.

148
00:08:44,924 --> 00:08:46,602
Hello, is this Ginger Gray?

149
00:08:46,626 --> 00:08:49,205
It is? Well this is
your little snuggums.

150
00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:51,407
I'm about to do you a big favor.

151
00:08:51,431 --> 00:08:52,908
Ha-ha.
Will you marry me?

152
00:08:52,932 --> 00:08:54,577
Oh.

153
00:08:54,601 --> 00:08:56,212
Oh.

154
00:08:57,937 --> 00:08:59,482
Hey, any luck?

155
00:08:59,506 --> 00:09:01,750
I got one phone number
and one nickel left.

156
00:09:01,774 --> 00:09:03,774
Well, start using it.

157
00:09:05,178 --> 00:09:08,023
You, clumsy ox, you.
Where'd that go?

158
00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:09,492
It went down here someplace.

159
00:09:09,516 --> 00:09:11,627
Well, let's find it.

160
00:09:11,651 --> 00:09:13,596
Think it went over that side.

161
00:09:18,125 --> 00:09:20,645
- Take this receiver.
- I got it, I got it.

162
00:09:21,961 --> 00:09:23,639
All right, just take it.
Wait a minute.

163
00:09:23,663 --> 00:09:25,674
Wait a minute.
All right.

164
00:09:25,698 --> 00:09:28,077
Get this out of my hair here.
All right.

165
00:09:28,101 --> 00:09:29,745
- Wait a minute.
- Easy, easy, easy.

166
00:09:29,769 --> 00:09:31,147
Come on.

167
00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:32,648
Easy, easy.
All right, all right.

168
00:09:32,672 --> 00:09:34,683
Now wait a minute.
Can you dial from there?

169
00:09:34,707 --> 00:09:36,519
No, can you?
Yeah.

170
00:09:41,148 --> 00:09:45,094
Wait a minute. Why don't you
come around like this?

171
00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:47,096
Get up in this one.

172
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:48,931
How's that?
Well, it don't feel as good

173
00:09:48,955 --> 00:09:50,633
as when I did...

174
00:09:50,657 --> 00:09:52,602
this.
Oh, wait, wait, wait.

175
00:09:52,626 --> 00:09:55,104
Take it easy.
Now, look.

176
00:09:55,128 --> 00:09:57,640
We are making no place fast.

177
00:09:57,664 --> 00:09:59,808
Let's get at this thing
the right way!

178
00:09:59,832 --> 00:10:01,043
Get this off.

179
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:05,537
How you doing?

180
00:10:10,710 --> 00:10:12,388
Get your hand out of my face.

181
00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:14,023
That ain't my hand,
that's your hand.

182
00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:16,659
All right, you asked for it.

183
00:10:16,683 --> 00:10:18,394
Ow!

184
00:10:18,418 --> 00:10:19,562
Gotta get out of this.

185
00:10:19,586 --> 00:10:21,397
There isn't much time left.
You know that?

186
00:10:21,421 --> 00:10:22,421
All right.

187
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:25,701
What happened?

188
00:10:25,725 --> 00:10:27,005
That's what I wanna know.

189
00:10:31,030 --> 00:10:32,163
Wait a minute.

190
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:36,045
Did you get a load of that?

191
00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:38,080
What dish.
I wonder who she is.

192
00:10:38,104 --> 00:10:39,582
We'll soon find out.

193
00:10:39,606 --> 00:10:40,716
Oh, boy?
Yes?

194
00:10:40,740 --> 00:10:42,985
Who's the new dame?
A Miss Hopkins.

195
00:10:43,009 --> 00:10:44,853
Miss Hopkins.
Did you hear that, kid?

196
00:10:44,877 --> 00:10:47,690
And good-looking too.
Go get her, Shemp.

197
00:10:47,714 --> 00:10:49,358
Heep-eep-eep!

198
00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:50,959
Oh, wait a minute.

199
00:10:50,983 --> 00:10:52,961
You can't propose to a girl
looking like that.

200
00:10:52,985 --> 00:10:55,505
We gotta give you
the works. Come on.

201
00:11:03,763 --> 00:11:04,807
Hello.

202
00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:06,141
Oh, hello.

203
00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:07,376
Heep-eep-eep!

204
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,144
Come in.

205
00:11:09,168 --> 00:11:11,581
Cousin Basil, oh!

206
00:11:11,605 --> 00:11:13,683
I'm so happy to see you.

207
00:11:13,707 --> 00:11:16,319
I-I...
I just been dying to meet you.

208
00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:17,620
Uh, I...

209
00:11:17,644 --> 00:11:19,988
And you're even cuter than
Aunt Sadie said you were.

210
00:11:22,915 --> 00:11:24,860
Oh, boy. Success.

211
00:11:24,884 --> 00:11:26,862
Yeah, listen to those kisses.

212
00:11:30,089 --> 00:11:31,467
Cut it out.

213
00:11:31,491 --> 00:11:34,970
Oh, you must be exhausted
after your long trip.

214
00:11:34,994 --> 00:11:36,305
Sit down.

215
00:11:36,329 --> 00:11:38,674
Let me look at you,
Cousin Basil.

216
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,409
Oh.

217
00:11:40,433 --> 00:11:42,233
Now, don't you go away.

218
00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:46,315
Hello? Yes,
this is Miss Hopkins.

219
00:11:46,339 --> 00:11:49,017
You're Cousin Basil?
Well, then who is...?

220
00:11:49,041 --> 00:11:50,286
I was just...

221
00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:52,255
How dare you pretend
to be my Cousin Basil?

222
00:11:52,279 --> 00:11:53,623
I'll teach you a thing or two,

223
00:11:53,647 --> 00:11:55,124
you wolf!

224
00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:56,925
Don't you dare strike me!

225
00:11:56,949 --> 00:12:00,162
Taking advantage of a poor,
weak, helpless woman!

226
00:12:00,186 --> 00:12:02,587
You, you...
You horrible person, you!

227
00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:07,102
Get up. Here you are.

228
00:12:07,126 --> 00:12:08,504
What happened, kid?

229
00:12:08,528 --> 00:12:10,606
Can I help it
if I ain't Cousin Basil?

230
00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:13,542
Oh, professor!
Are you all right?

231
00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:16,211
Oh, I'm fine.

232
00:12:16,235 --> 00:12:17,846
All I wanted to do was propose...

233
00:12:17,870 --> 00:12:18,847
Propose?

234
00:12:18,871 --> 00:12:22,418
Oh, professor,
this is so sudden.

235
00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:24,253
You mean you'll
really marry him?

236
00:12:24,277 --> 00:12:27,590
Oh, of course.
He's my little old dreamboat.

237
00:12:27,614 --> 00:12:30,426
Your little dreamboat
is sailing. Whoo!

238
00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:32,161
Wait a minute.
You're gonna sail away

239
00:12:32,185 --> 00:12:33,462
from a half a million bucks?

240
00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:34,730
We only got two hours left.

241
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:36,421
Come on, get going.

242
00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:42,037
Say, here's the license. My pal
wants to get married in a rush.

243
00:12:42,061 --> 00:12:44,039
Oh, splendid.

244
00:12:44,063 --> 00:12:45,207
Oh, excuse me.

245
00:12:45,231 --> 00:12:48,243
Hello? Who?

246
00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:50,747
Mr. Howard?
Yes, he's here.

247
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:54,517
Hello? Yes. What?

248
00:12:54,541 --> 00:12:55,918
How many of them?

249
00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:57,653
Wow. Yeah, yeah.

250
00:12:57,677 --> 00:12:59,221
Okay, thanks.

251
00:12:59,245 --> 00:13:00,823
That was the clerk
at the apartment.

252
00:13:00,847 --> 00:13:02,391
Those dames
you phoned this morning

253
00:13:02,415 --> 00:13:04,259
found out about
the 500 grand in the papers.

254
00:13:04,283 --> 00:13:06,228
Come on, pal,
we gotta make this fast.

255
00:13:06,252 --> 00:13:07,296
Have you got the ring?

256
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:08,631
Why, certainly.

257
00:13:08,655 --> 00:13:10,899
Join hands, you love birds.

258
00:13:10,923 --> 00:13:13,068
Uh-oh.

259
00:13:14,561 --> 00:13:16,038
I waited a long time.

260
00:13:16,062 --> 00:13:17,940
Wait a minute!
Wait a minute!

261
00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:20,309
Who is this character?

262
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:22,478
She's the bride.
Oh, yeah?

263
00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:24,012
Not while I got my strength.

264
00:13:24,036 --> 00:13:25,781
Tell 'em. Didn't you
propose to me?

265
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:27,082
Yes, but I'm with...

266
00:13:27,106 --> 00:13:29,051
Didn't you?
Yes, but you turned me down.

267
00:13:29,075 --> 00:13:31,420
That was before I read
the papers. Now I accept.

268
00:13:31,444 --> 00:13:33,522
Look at that.
We better do something fast.

269
00:13:33,546 --> 00:13:35,791
Yeah.

270
00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:38,494
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
What's going on here?

271
00:13:39,619 --> 00:13:42,130
Ow! Ow!

272
00:13:42,154 --> 00:13:44,199
Ladies! Ladies!

273
00:13:45,324 --> 00:13:46,635
Ow!

274
00:13:55,234 --> 00:13:57,179
Oh, no, Justice, please.

275
00:13:57,203 --> 00:13:59,181
Please. Hurry up.
Yes, yes, yes.

276
00:13:59,205 --> 00:14:02,072
Hold the hands, you love birds.

277
00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:11,749
Oh, my goodness.

278
00:14:16,756 --> 00:14:18,033
Ooh! Ooh, ooh!

279
00:14:20,927 --> 00:14:24,707
Wait a minute. You wouldn't
hit a lady with that?

280
00:14:24,731 --> 00:14:26,008
Use this. It's bigger.

281
00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:27,142
Oh, thanks.

282
00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:31,636
Oh!

283
00:14:34,441 --> 00:14:35,818
Will you marry me?

284
00:14:35,842 --> 00:14:37,686
Never.

285
00:14:40,947 --> 00:14:42,324
I'll lure 'em to sit down.

286
00:14:51,858 --> 00:14:53,869
Now what do you say?

287
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,626
I give up. I'll marry you.

288
00:15:05,872 --> 00:15:08,551
Oh, Mr. Benton,
please, please, hurry.

289
00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:11,587
Hold hands, you love birds.

290
00:15:15,949 --> 00:15:17,760
How are you?

291
00:15:17,784 --> 00:15:19,628
What do you mean how am I?

292
00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:21,597
Congratulations, both of you.

293
00:15:21,621 --> 00:15:23,231
Oh, thank you.
Yes, yes.

294
00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:24,934
We're married.

295
00:15:24,958 --> 00:15:27,002
What happened?
You'll find out.

296
00:15:27,026 --> 00:15:29,772
Well, wise guy,
your Uncle Caleb is not dead,

297
00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:32,307
you don't have $500,000
but you are married.

298
00:15:32,331 --> 00:15:33,976
Oh!
Yeah, now we're even.

299
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:36,078
Why, you no-good,
double-crossing rats.

300
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:37,613
Why you...